Bring me a Yellow Rose
by lblue
Summary: Anna is dying, and Yoh can't do something about it... Yoh's POV (complete)
1. Default Chapter

* Another Yoh x Anna fic, good thing I had the time to make one and upload it. Difference is, this fic will only be three chapters at the most... I'm tired of uploading many chapters. Lots of stuff to do, yup, term papers... Maybe next time, I'll make a longer one. Yeah, thanks for all the reviews I received on Shaman King and the Maid. A sequel? I'm not promising anything, but I'll think about it. All disclaimers apply; I don't own Mankin, etc. Yeah, expect wrong grammar, etc.  
  
* I'm telling you now: this one is a sad story, not the usual happy ending stuff. This sort of happened four years after the Shaman Fight, Yoh was officially the Shaman King, he, and his brother were friends, and the gang lived in Yoh and Anna's house. This was told in Yoh's point of view.  
  
* Read on... Review afterwards.... Thanks * lblue :j  
  
* Yeah, a Valentine-aftermath treat. I should have updated this last Friday night, heck, I fell asleep... anyway...  
  
Bring me a Yellow Rose  
  
* If there was one important thing I learned in my life, it was the fact that not all fairy tales have happy endings... *  
  
She had always loved roses, especially the rare yellow ones. Okay, maybe she loved other things, like strawberries (She even made me buy a basketful last winter as punishment for my laziness to train, and honestly, she didn't believe in the word "impossible"), watching her favorite noon time soaps (No one in his right mind would disturb her in this crucial moment of hers, and, heck, I don't see the point, I mean she'd seen worse, and she doesn't seem to be affected by all the mushy stuff, right?), training me (The Shaman Fight ended three years ago, I'm the Shaman King, and she's still obsessed with it, I mean, four laps a day, two hundred and fifty push- ups, sixty pounds of weight, are something.), and me (I got the courage to ask her that, a year ago, and the slap I got in reply was worth it, for that night, when she went to my room, she softly told me that she loves me, of course, she thought I was sleeping, I would be dead literally by now, if she knew I knew.) Yet, it was a different story when it comes to roses. She simply adored them. She ordered Ren and Horo-Horo to till the backyard; of course, my friends couldn't say no, I mean she's Anna. No one could dare contradict her. She made the rules. There she herself planted her own rose garden, and we're (That is, my friends and me,) not allowed to touch them. I secretly watched her tend the roses. You see, she watered them herself. She labored under the heat of the sun. I saw her face light up one spring, when the product of all her hard work bloomed before her very eyes: a perfect yellow rose. I mean, that's a rare sight. One wouldn't think that this was the real Anna, the soft and feminine side of her, when her defenses were down. The next day, I gave her a yellow rose (Not from her own garden, of course.) She even grumbled that her roses were better. No one could deny that. You see, roses are better given. I know her too well to believe her masquerade. That rose was the beginning of the many roses I gave her. Each day, I woke up early (That is, earlier than usual,) to buy her the most beautiful yellow rose, I can find. I never missed a day, ever. That had become a tradition in our house.  
  
Many knew Anna as cold, indifferent, and bossy, but, you see, I knew the real her, and the real her was far from what she acted like. I knew what lay under the perfect masquerade she wore. She was a rose, an epitome of love, beauty, and perfection, and I was but a mere gardener. She was a rose that looked frozen and dry on winter, but would bloom to be the most beautiful flower in spring, envied by all. She was a rose that would leave every viewer breathless. She was a rose worth all the pain.  
  
One night, I finally had the courage to tell her how much I love her. My friends were not home yet, so Anna and I had the house to ourselves. After finishing all my chores, I joined her in her room. I found her outside, in the balcony. I sat beside her, and slipped my arms on her waist and pulled her closer to me. "It's cold," was my stupid alibi. She didn't show any reaction. We sat there in silence. Finally, I softly whispered that I love her. She stared at me, surprised with what I said. Then she smiled, and leaned her head on my shoulder. No words were needed to be said. Before I knew it, she was peacefully sleeping in my arms. I kissed her tenderly on her forehead, before carrying her into her futon. Before I left, I told her again that I love her.  
  
The next day seemed to be a normal one. The same training argument, same glare, same chores... Yet, deep inside, we knew something changed. This was reality; Anna and I were living like a normal couple. My friends seemed to sense what was happening, for they sheepishly asked me what had happened last night when they were gone. I just smiled. They all laughed. They understood. Of course, the yellow roses continued. Yet, it was too good to last.  
  
I knew it all began the day she woke up with a high fever. Her head was aching terribly, and her whole body was sore all over. She was dizzy, and didn't feel like eating. She vomited once in a while. My friends and I panicked, dealing with Anna sick meant dealing with her shorter temper. Tamao said chicken soup, some fluids, and medicines would do the trick. Her condition didn't improve the next day, or the next. After a week, her fever was gone, but she still looked pale. I suggested the hospital, but she rejected the idea. She said she was well already. Yeah, right. After two weeks, her fever returned. She felt worse than before. After a week, it was gone. She eventually lost her appetite. She continued to lose weight. That's when my friends starting to grasp the idea that Anna was pregnant. I dismissed the idea. I knew something was wrong with her, but that wasn't it.  
  
I finally convinced Anna to go visit the doctor. Faust came with us. The doctor took some series of tests, then asked us to go back a week after. The next day, the doctor politely asked me to talk to him about Anna's condition. What he said was quite a shock. He said Anna was dying; she only had 3 months to live. My mind turned blank at once.  
  
I didn't clearly hear what the doctor said about her disease. Something about white blood cells multiplying too fast, a bone marrow, whatever. I asked him what could be done. The doctor sighed, and gave me a week to tell her the truth. Medications would then begin. Bone marrow transplant was an option, yet the risks were too high. It would be a problem when no matches were found, or her body would reject the bone marrow and recognize it as a foreign body. I nodded, and asked the doctor to do whatever would save her life.  
  
I still couldn't accept what the doctor had said. It all happened so fast. That Anna was sick, and that she was dying. Maybe it was all a mistake. It should be a mistake. I went home feeling tired. Anna waited for me outside, and reprimanded me for coming home late. I sheepishly grinned at her, trying to act normal.  
  
I told my friends about Anna's disease. They were surprised at first, but they promised to help Anna and me all the way. The next day, I gave her a yellow rose, held her tight, afraid she would just be taken away from me, and told her I love her. She raised her brow, and asked me what was wrong. I replied that I just feel like hugging her that day. It wasn't that easy. I mean, how would you tell the woman you love that she was dying? Yet, Anna had her means. She suspected that we were being extra nice to her, so she went to the doctor herself. She demanded what was wrong with her the next day, after I gave her the yellow rose. I calmly told her that she was dying. The shock expression on her face pierced my heart. She dropped the yellow rose, rushed forward, and for the first time, cried in my arms. I told her that everything would be okay, or at least it would be. That night, we agreed on one thing. Together, we would fight, and together, we would win.  
  
The yellow roses continued, amidst what happened... 


	2. 2

Was it obvious that I was quite depressed when I wrote the first chapter? I hope not... :) Thanks for reviews!!! Read on...Review  
  
Bring me a Yellow Rose  
  
Chapter 2  
  
We tried to live a normal life after that day, and it's hard. I mean, it's hard pretending to be cool, or pretending that everything was all right. Our daily routine continued, she insisted on training me hard enough, I still obey her orders, my friends and I were still the recipient of her deadly glares, and of course, her yellow roses. She still tends them like babies, I mean, she could have just asked me to tend them for her and save her time and energy?  
  
However, the days that followed didn't seem to favor her. She took medications, of course, yet they don't seem to have that expected effect on her. Each day, she grew sicker, each day, she grew weaker. I felt an inch of her life was taken away from me each day.  
  
Our misfortunes didn't seem to stop there. The next week, the doctor told us one thing. The bone-marrow transplant would be a failure. There were no matches found. We were running out of time. Besides, even if there was one, performing the operation would be a great risk. Anna's body was too weak to survive the crucial operation. Her case was definitely hopeless. 3 months, after that, it would be a miracle. We didn't give up. We refused to give up. We asked for other opinions, but they were all the same. I turned to the Shaman World, hoping for some healer or something. You see, I was not the Shaman King for nothing. There was no one.  
  
I focused on making her last months the happiest and most memorable. I took her out, almost everyday: to amusement parks, to some romantic place, to anywhere she likes. I even offered to tour the whole world with her. Yet, her health wouldn't permit it. A little work drained all her energy. I insisted that she rest. She shouted at me to stop treating her like a baby. I was silent as I saw a tear fell from her eyes. I just held her close. Tamao and Pirika were misty eyed at that moment. They couldn't take it anymore.  
  
Anna suffered so much. I could feel her pain, although she didn't admit it. You see, when she suffered, I suffered too. I felt her pain. I couldn't bear seeing her like this. I was ready to give up everything for her health, even the throne. I don't care. She was all I needed in this world, only Anna.  
  
I know 3 months was short. I have to do something to lighten her burden. That night, as I stroke her cheek, I asked her to marry me. She didn't speak at first. Then she coldly replied, "Yoh, I don't need your pity." Those were the most painful words she told me. Yet, I have to understand her, what was going on with her. I held her hand and told her, that I do love her, and I want to marry her. She said she was sorry, and she didn't mean to hurt me. She gave me a choice; she was giving me my freedom, freedom from all my obligations as her fiancé. I still chose her. She told me everything, her fear, her pain, her worries, amidst the tears that fell from her eyes. Heck, I made her cry, again.  
  
We planned our wedding the next day. I took her to the place where I first met her, and there I asked her again to marry me, this time with a ring. I forgot to buy one last time. She asked Tamao and Pirika to help her choose the wedding dress. With the help of my family, friends, and the Shaman world, in two weeks, I would be marrying Anna.  
  
Anna walked down the aisle wearing a cream-colored dress, and holding the bouquet of yellow roses I gave her. Her blond hair was tied in a traditional bun, her eyes glittered, and a faint smile appeared on her lips as she approached me. She was simply beautiful.  
  
I recited the poem "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" by Christopher Marlowe as I held her hand. Everyone clapped. My family wiped their eyes in amazement. Why? As Horo-Horo put it, they can't believe that I was capable of memorizing such long poem. Heck, if they only knew, it took me 8 sleepless nights to master such poem. You know, anything for Anna. Anyway, she in turn, recited the poem "The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd" by Sir Walter Raleigh. Everyone was misty eyed when she finished, including me. Then, we recited our wedding vows. In the end, as I slipped the ring on her finger, I added, "Anna, I love you, and I wanna spend my lifetime with you." Sobs were heard from the crowd. I sweat dropped; I mean do they have to do that? I held her waist, her arms on my neck, and then I smiled at her, before closing the distance between us. I kissed her tenderly, with all my love.  
  
The reception followed at the Asakura compound. Everyone was having fun, including Anna. That was the first time I saw her really having fun. I nervously kneeled down, as I took the garter off Anna's legs. The crowd cheered. I swore Anna stared at me with that do-something-fishy-and-you're- dead-look. Heck, I managed to take it off, no sweat. Anna was laughing, as she threw the bouquet, which Pirika caught. Ren got the garter. Manta said that he caught it on purpose. Pirika and Ren were both blushing crimson, as Ren struggled to push the garter higher her legs. Horo-Horo was red in fury, as Tamao tried to stop him from killing Ren at that moment. After that, Ren gave Pirika a light kiss. Horo-Horo challenged Ren to a fight, as Horo-Horo reasoned out, for "touching" and even "kissing" her sister, and of course, the proud Tao could not refuse.  
  
I asked Anna for a dance after that. She had her arms around me, and my arms surround her waist. I asked her if she was having fun, she smiled, simply saying that it was her wedding day, after all. She added, she could "go" any moment from now. I just smiled. After that, she fainted. Of course, I was quick enough to catch her. She lost consciousness. I panicked at once, I mean, she was just joking right?  
  
We went home that same night. The doctor said that Anna was just tired. She fainted out of fatigue. We sat together in silence, in our room, her head leaning on my shoulder. I held her hand. She then stood and brushed her hair. I told her, you're beautiful. She just smiled.  
  
I smiled back, "Don't ever do that again."  
  
She faced me. "Did I scare you?"  
  
I just nodded. She sighed. "Yoh, are you ready, if something happens to me, and I suddenly died?"  
  
I frowned at her, "Anna, you won't die."  
  
"Yoh, maybe it's time to accept the fact that I'm dying." Her tone was resonant and firm.  
  
I was silent. Maybe, because I'm not ready. I just approached her, and kissed her, after all, that was what we were supposed to be doing, not talking about death. The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about her question. 


	3. 3

Bring me a Yellow Rose  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Anna and I lived a pretty much normal life. Okay, maybe the marriage wasn't perfect. We quarrel over some small, silly things occasionally. Yet, it was fun being married to Anna Kyouyama, and I mean it. Besides, we love each other. That fact was merely enough to let us going in life. We celebrated our first month of marriage at the beach, two days, and three nights, together with my friends, doing nothing but barbecuing all day and playing beach volley. She made it, after the three-month limit given by the doctor. She seemed determined to fight, and to live. Time passed by quickly. Before I knew it, we were celebrating our first wedding anniversary, amidst joy and hardships. She proved the doctors wrong. She lived for a year and a half...  
  
Anna woke me up in the middle of the night, one cold Friday. I sleepily asked her why. She replied in a rather impatient voice, "Look, I want to go to the hospital, are you coming or not?" I nodded and readied everything. Somehow, I knew this was it. She would just go and never return with me.  
  
In an hour, we were there. The doctors were all expecting her arrival. Anna was admitted at once and was given proper medication. I never left her side that night. She asked me to sleep beside her; after all, she knew I was tired. I smiled, held her close, and cherished the moment, maybe the last night she would sleep beside me.  
  
The next morning, family, and friends arrived. I went out to eat something, as Anna wanted to talk with my family, in private. I wondered why. Next, she talked to my friends. That's when I knew; Anna already felt that she was about to go. I sat in the lounge, listening to my CD, the only thing that could give me comfort at that time. Hao arrived. I smiled in recognition. "Anna's inside, talking with my friends." He smiled back and replied, "Yeah, I know." The same know-all reputation, I thought. Hao went inside her room. A few minutes later, my friends went out. I don't have to ask the reason why. Anna now wanted to talk with my brother alone. I left the hospital to buy her the yellow rose, remembering that I have not yet given her one that day. I roamed the place, looking for something to take my mind off Anna, and lighten this heavy feeling. The afternoon passed by quickly.  
  
I went back to the hospital. I found my friends and Hao outside her room. Anna had been waiting for me, for about an hour already. Breathing hard, I opened the door and entered. I found her sitting in her bed. She faintly smiled at me as I approached her. I smiled back, and sat beside her bed. I kissed her softly, as I gave her the bouquet of yellow roses.  
  
"I guess you miss me already." Anna started, as we broke the kiss.  
  
I grinned at her, caressing her cheek. "Yeah, you've been talking to my family and friends the whole day. You have not said a word to me." I kissed her again.  
  
"Explains why," She took the bouquet of roses, and counted them. "18 roses! You've been spending a lot of money for these!" She said, in mock anger.  
  
I laughed. "18 roses are a lot better than one."  
  
"That doesn't excuse your reckless spending, Yoh."  
  
I changed the topic. I don't want to argue with her over some roses. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Dying," She replied nonetheless calm. I regretted I did.  
  
I looked at her. "Don't say that."  
  
She faced me, her eyes, somewhat sad. "I told you to prepare yourself for this day."  
  
I didn't say anything.  
  
"Listen to me," She continued, her voice, firm. "You'll take care of the house. I don't want your friends messing everything up. I talked to them about that matter. You know I wanted everything to be clean and in order."  
  
"I always clean the house." I reminded her.  
  
"You clean the house, because I said so, got it?" Was the reply of my clever wife, "I want you to continue your training. Now that you're the Shaman King, it's important that you train, not sleep, and eat all day. I don't want a lazy husband in the first place. Understood?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"Defeat every shaman that challenges you. I also don't want a loser for a husband." She paused, "On second thoughts, I don't want you turning into an arrogant jerk like your brother was before. Better a lazy bum, than an arrogant jerk, okay? Just do your best, remember your principles, and enjoy the fight, like before. That's what matters. Clear?"  
  
"Clear."  
  
"The last and most important thing," Anna looked at me, now angry. "Stop this stupid game of yours. Stop blaming yourself. It's nobody's fault, not yours, not mine." I didn't say anything. "I don't want you doing the most stupid things in life right after my death. I don't want you lamenting over me, like there's no tomorrow, or starving yourself to death. I want you to move on, though it hurts, everything would be okay. Not once did I hold your fate. You could still exist without me, and stop thinking that you can't. I want you to be happy, Yoh. I don't want you turning into a cold, hopeless person just because of me. Trust me, you wouldn't like it."  
  
I weakly nodded. I helped her adjust her position.  
  
She sighed. "I think that's all. Take care of my roses, I don't want them dying too."  
  
I smiled at her. She smiled back. I carefully held her in my arms, and softly kissed her. "I'll miss you, Anna." I took her hand in mine.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Anna, you know I'll always love you." I kissed her softly on her forehead.  
  
"Yeah, I know that. I love you too." Silence reigned between the two of us.  
  
"Yoh?" I heard her whisper. "Thanks for everything. Thanks for loving me."  
  
Those were her last words.  
  
She fell into a deep sleep, not waking up, ever again. The Shaman World lost their Queen, shortly before midnight, when the first snowflakes of the year started to fall.  
  
Final chapter: out next week  
  
I know it's sad. All my reviewers told me that. Heck, what can I do?  
  
I'd been thinking about editing the first two chapters, you know details, and all that stuff. What do you think?  
  
Thanks for all reviews...  
  
Again, lblue apologizes for the late update, she'd been busy, you know... Busy sleeping, recovering the sleep she lost the past weeks. Yeah, she went through the crucial week, and was able to pass all the requirements, term papers, projects, reports, etc. Now, she is currently preparing for another crucial week, the fourth quarter exams. Excuse her if she didn't upload the final chapter next week. The week after next week would be examination week. She has to study you know. Yeah, it's two weeks before vacation time...  
  
Next fic suggestions are very much welcome!  
  
Next week, lblue would be a year older, and hopefully, a year wiser... :) 


	4. 4

Bring me a Yellow Rose  
  
Chapter Four: Good-bye  
  
I didn't know what exactly happened after that cold night. I didn't know how I managed to survive the next days. I didn't know what I ate, when I ate, or if I ever ate at all. I didn't know what I did. I didn't even know if I slept at all. In fact, I didn't know if I actually lived.  
  
I don't care. I just don't care anymore.  
  
I just don't remember anything. Or better said, I refused to remember.  
  
Because every time I remember, my thoughts just seemed to end on her... On Anna... On the night I saw her last smile... On the night she was taken away from me...  
  
Every time that happened, I just feel myself suffocating. I just feel my chest breathing heavily...  
  
Pain...  
  
Unbearable pain...  
  
So why remember things that brought you so much pain?  
  
All I know is, here I am, standing in front of her coffin, waiting as the last rites were said.  
  
That's when it dawned into me. This is it. This isn't just a nightmare. This is reality.  
  
Anna is gone, and she's never coming back.  
  
Never ever coming back...  
  
And I couldn't forgive myself for letting that happen. I couldn't forgive myself for letting her die, just like that. I couldn't forgive myself for not doing anything. I couldn't forgive myself because I can't do anything.  
  
I looked around. Of course, my family was there, my friends as well. Even Hao made an appearance. Tamao and Pirika were wiping their tears. Ren and Horo-Horo stood beside me.  
  
The shaman who was officiating motioned for me. I walked forward. I forced myself to smile sheepishly. "I guess this is it, Anna." I was surprised to hear my own voice. I was surprised that I could actually speak. "Good bye." I dropped the yellow rose that I was holding, and walked away.  
  
I just couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
It just hurt so much.  
  
The days that followed were a blur. Waking up without Anna seemed different. I remember my friends asking me if I was okay. I remember them forcing me to eat, to do something other than lock myself in my room, mine and Anna's room.  
  
Believe me, I was forcing myself to eat. I'm just not hungry. Every time I tried to shove edible things in my mouth (I'm sure it's edible, as Tamao cooked them), I ended throwing up. I gave up, eventually.  
  
Then there's the presence of my friends. I just find them annoying each day, worrying about me like that, like I'm a kid or something. I just snapped one day, and found myself yelling at them. "Would you all stop asking me if I'm okay? After all, I'm still alive, right? So just leave me alone!"  
  
I heard Ren scowl in impatience. "Fine, after all, I don't have time to bother with losers and freaks just like you who still couldn't move on even after a month his wife died!"  
  
I didn't say anything. I tried to tell them to give me some more time. I tried to tell them to understand me. I tried to tell them, I really did. I just couldn't find my voice. Instead, in my anger, I found myself yelling back. "Why do you care, Ren? You don't know anything about what I'm feeling, right? You don't know anything about emotions, about feelings, damn it. You just don't know anything!"  
  
I saw Ren visibly flinched. Inside, I really wished I could take back my words, or say sorry. But I didn't say anything. Tamao was already crying. Horo-Horo was holding back Ren.  
  
"Just a piece of advice, Asakura. Get a life. What would Anna say when she saw you acting like this?"  
  
That's the whole point, Ren, I thought. Anna's dead...  
  
I choked as my chest became heavy once again.  
  
When I didn't say anything, Ren spoke once again. "Fine. Do what you like. I don't care. Just do us a favor, if you want to end your pathetic life, end it pretty soon. We just couldn't stand it anymore, seeing you, The Shaman King, acting like a pathetic freak." I heard the door slam afterwards. I saw Horo-Horo sighed, looking at me, and then walked out, following Ren.  
  
Tamao kept a close watch at me, afraid that I would do exactly what Ren said. Honestly, I have no intention of ending my life. If I do, honestly, I would have done that merely a month ago. Then again, if I saw Anna on the after life, she would surely kill me, if that was still possible.  
  
So, the idea of suicide is definitely out of the question. If I want to die, I would like to in a battle, in a fight, not by just hanging myself. I still got some pride, you know.  
  
Meanwhile, true to their word, my friends kept their distance at me, specifically Ren and Horo-Horo, and I preferred it that way. They no longer ask me how I am or what I'm feeling six times a day, though I know they were still watching me.  
  
Two more months passed. I still can't believe who came that day, and visited me. Yep, it was my brother, that brother who appeared and did everything just to kill me four years ago.  
  
Except this time, it was different. Hao appeared to save me.  
  
"Your concerned friends told me about your idiocy." He started. "Specifically about fasting without an apparent reason..."  
  
I merely looked at him. For the first time in history, my older brother was actually concerned about me. Jeez. What the hell happened to him? "I'm simply not hungry, Hao. I'll eat when I'm hungry."  
  
"When?" I heard him ask. "When you're dead?"  
  
I said nothing. I just smiled sheepishly at him. This is really getting weird. The Hao I knew a few years back would probably thank me for making his job of killing me easier.  
  
'Get up." He ordered me. "Get up, Yoh Asakura!"  
  
"Mind your own business, will you?" I sighed.  
  
Hao was resolute. "I am challenging the shaman king into a fight."  
  
He doesn't give up, does he? "Some other time, Hao."  
  
"Now, Yoh Asakura, I want to fight you now." He called the Spirit of Fire. "A true shaman does not refuse a fight."  
  
He was serious, I thought. "Fine." I finally agreed. I have no choice, really. "Let's do this outside. I don't want us destroying the house." I took the Harusame out.  
  
I followed him into an open field. I called on Amidamaru, "Amidamaru, oversoul! To the harusame!" Hao likewise called the Spirit of Fire, and immediately launched an attack at me. I was taken aback, and call it luck, I managed to dodge the attack. If Anna was watching, she would have yelled at me for not being alert.  
  
That's the point. If Anna was alive, then this wouldn't happen. If she were alive, then maybe, I wouldn't do things this stupid. If only she was alive, then maybe, I would still have the will to be living. If only...  
  
I felt the air knocked out at me as Hao aimed another attack at me. I heard him sigh. "Pay attention, Yoh, I don't want to kill you yet."  
  
He knows how to make me suffer, does he?  
  
The fight continued for an hour. I still don't know how I managed to keep up with him. It was obvious that he had gotten a lot stronger these years. I was blocking all his attacks with difficulty. That's when I realized that he was not that serious. If he were, then he would have killed me in a minute since our fight had started. Besides, Amidamaru and I haven't thought of a plan yet.  
  
Hao had the advantage in this fight. We both knew it. He was in the right state of mind, for one. He was in the right condition to fight, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast, and heck, it has been months since the last time I trained. I knew, within minutes, he would be declared as the winner.  
  
What would happen to me? I don't know.  
  
Anyway, I just don't care.  
  
Part of me wanted to get angry for being so weak. Part of me wanted to scream for not having thought of a plan. Part of me wanted to hold on, to continue fighting. I know that I have to do something. I know that I have to win. Yet part of me just wanted to surrender. Another part of me just wanted to let everything go, that this was it, this was the death I'd been waiting for. That somehow, I would die in the hands of my own brother... That somehow he would give me what I wanted... That somehow, he would give me the peace of mind I yearned.  
  
The latter sounded pathetic, because somehow, I knew, Hao wouldn't let me die. He has no intention to kill me in the first place.  
  
So why the hell was he doing this to me?  
  
The impact of his attack was getting the better of me. I was pushed farther, and farther the ground, as I desperately tried to block it with the Harusame. I heard Amidamaru telling me to hold on. Then I felt my legs giving away, I resist it anymore. But before it made any severe damage to my body, it stopped. Hao just stopped.  
  
I fell to my knees, panting. I saw Hao approaching me, wearing an unreadable expression in his face. After minutes of tense silence, I spoke. 'Why' was the only coherent word I could get out my mouth.  
  
He looks at me. Then suddenly he knocked his fist on my left cheek. The impact was so strong that I was thrown backwards, hit a nearby tree, and landed on the ground. I coughed out something metallic... Blood...  
  
"Is this what you wanted?" I heard him yell.  
  
I tried to stand, but before I could properly do so, he delivers a fist on my stomach. I landed once more on the ground, coughing out more blood.  
  
"Do you think this is what Anna wanted?" He asked me sincerely.  
  
My eyes widened at the mention of her name... I didn't know why, my breathing seemed to become ragged, my vision, a blur, then there was that familiar feeling again, building up in my chest, suffocating me...  
  
Pain.  
  
Pain worse than the one I felt a moment ago.  
  
Anna. I repeated to myself.  
  
Hao's voice continued to bug my mind.  
  
Do you think this is what Anna wanted?  
  
"I don't know." I found myself answering, my voice trembling. "I don't know what she wanted..."  
  
That's when it started to snow...  
  
Then as if someone played them on my head, memories of that cold night came flooding my senses...  
  
Call it déjà vu...  
  
I suddenly blacked out. My mind was slowly giving in to the situation... I couldn't stop them, these memories, triggered by the mere drop of snow...  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Dying," She replied nonetheless calm. I regretted I did.  
  
I looked at her. "Don't say that."  
  
She faced me, her eyes, somewhat sad. "I told you to prepare yourself for this day."  
  
I really wished to stop them... these memories... I tried to think of other things...  
  
"Defeat every shaman that challenges you. I also don't want a loser for a husband." She paused, "On second thoughts, I don't want you turning into an arrogant jerk like your brother was before. Better a lazy bum, than an arrogant jerk, okay? Just do your best, remember your principles, and enjoy the fight, like before. That's what matters. Clear?"  
  
They still continued...  
  
"Stop this stupid game of yours. Stop blaming yourself. It's nobody's fault, not yours, not mine." I didn't say anything. "I don't want you doing the most stupid things in life right after my death. I don't want you lamenting over me, like there's no tomorrow, or starving yourself to death. I want you to move on, though it hurts, everything would be okay. Not once did I hold your fate. You could still exist without me, and stop thinking that you can't. I want you to be happy, Yoh. I don't want you turning into a cold, hopeless person just because of me. Trust me, you wouldn't like it."  
  
I sat in shock, as I remember her last words... She wanted me to be happy, and I failed her...  
  
I failed her...  
  
I failed Anna...  
  
I didn't know how much time passed, I just sat there, the impact of what I did, of what had happened finally getting on me.  
  
I didn't feel cold. I didn't actually mind the snow, or the fact that I was wearing only a half-buttoned shirt and shorts, and I would be freezing in no time.  
  
I just woke up from my trance when I realized that there was a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. I felt warmth radiate on my whole body as a coat was placed over me.  
  
I looked up and saw the face of my brother.  
  
I couldn't read his expression. I just saw him brought out something from his cloak, and handed it to me...  
  
It was a yellow rose...  
  
Fresh, and fully bloomed... The delicate petals soft to the touch...  
  
I stared at it in wonder, as thousands of questions rushed in my mind.  
  
Where...  
  
How...  
  
Why...  
  
I was too shocked; too fascinated at the yellow rose I was holding, to notice that Hao had started to walk away.  
  
But I did hear his soft whisper, amidst the cold and violent wind...  
  
"Go. She's waiting for you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
I finally had the courage and enough sense to ask, as I hold the yellow rose closer.  
  
"Her last wishes." I heard him reply. Then, he was gone.  
  
I found my destination rather easily, amidst the snow, and the cold wind nearly freezing me, making my feet numb.  
  
Where am I? Call me crazy, visiting in such conditions, but I was actually in the cemetery. Hey, Hao said she was waiting, and knowing Anna, she hated waiting, so I rushed here as soon as I can.  
  
I finally glimpsed a mob of blonde hair. It was expected, as I was already in front of her grave. It was the first time I was here, after her burial. I saw her turn, finally sensing my presence, and looked at me.  
  
She was irritated. Either it was because of my pathetic behavior, for being late, or just because she was summoned for pathetic reasons by my brother...  
  
"Hi!" I said, breaking the silence. I gave her a sheepish smile, the best smile I can muster.  
  
Anna continued to glare at me. Not that I mind though, I actually missed those glares...  
  
No, I didn't just miss her glares. Actually, I missed her. I missed Anna, and all the glares, sermons, rare smiles, and torture that came with her.  
  
"I heard that you've been doing pathetic things, lately."  
  
I shrugged, and gave her the yellow rose. I saw her eyes softened, as she took it... Hey, call it perfect timing. "I always do pathetic things."  
  
Her glare was back at me. I wished that I hadn't spoken anything at all. Before she could even speak and start her sermon, I explained everything already. "Anna, I'm sorry. I promise I wouldn't do anything like that again."  
  
I reached out a hand to caress her cheek. I barely felt anything, as my fingers touched her cheeks.  
  
It was inevitable though. She's already a spirit, after all.  
  
"You always break your promises."  
  
I smiled once again. "Not this time, though." I leaned forward to kiss her, or rather, to do something that was supposed to be a kiss. I felt merely a cold, and light feeling on my lips. I slowly backed away.  
  
She must have felt my uneasiness. "Yoh..."  
  
"Anna," I cut her off, "I'm okay, don't worry." I smiled once again. "I didn't know the feeling in kissing a spirit."  
  
Anna smiled back. Then her lips hardened once more in mock anger. "Yoh, you have to go home now, you're freezing. Idiot, you never cared about your health..."  
  
"I didn't know my wife cared for me that much." I grinned. "I'll just wait for you."  
  
She nodded. I saw a somewhat dimensional vortex, as the entry to the other world opened. Anna walked away from me.  
  
"Tell your brother not to go summoning me again, and to take care of my beads."  
  
I nodded, and flashed her a smile. "Anna, I love you."  
  
"I know. Take care of yourself. " I saw her smile back. "I love you too, Yoh."  
  
Then she was gone.  
  
I went home to find my friends completely worried about me. Somehow, they didn't notice that Hao had come, and took me with him. Tamao became hysterical when she didn't find me in my room, nor in any part of the house. She called the whole gang to find me.  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
I smiled at them. They exchanged looks of horror... Thinking that maybe, I really lost my mind this time...  
  
"Yoh..."  
  
I cut off Tamao's words. "Don't worry, I'm fine."  
  
And I mean it, this time...  
  
I saw Tamao and Pirika nearly in tears. Ren nodded. Manta, Horo-Horo, Jeanne, and Faust smiled back at me. Lyserg, Ryu, and Chocolove gave me a smack on the back.  
  
"So what's for dinner?" I asked, breaking the tension.  
  
Meanwhile, Hao watched them from afar, satisfied at the way things had turned out. "Now, I could finally go back to my plan of conquering the world with Satan."  
  
"You would?" His assistant, Opacho, asked.  
  
Hao smirked. "Just joking. I promised my sister in law I'd be a good boy. I don't want to die yet, you know."  
  
The end 


End file.
